Looking at the past-Derek's pov
by Mackenzy26
Summary: All the characters reading the first book starting at chapter 13. In Derek's point of view. To read the first twelve chapters read the story, reviewing the past. Disclaimer- I don't own DP
1. Chapter 1

I walked back into the room and sat next to Chloe, wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her to me. "Alright who wants to read next?" Tori asked.

"I will," I proclaimed darkly.

**I stepped cautiously from the media room , expecting to find Derek lurking around the corner, waiting to pounce. The rumble of his voice made me jump, but it came from the dining room, where he was asking Mrs. Talbot when Dr. Gill would be reading to see him. I hurried into class. They weren't done with math yet, and Ms. Wang waved for me to take the seat next to the door. When the lesson finally ended, Derek lumbered in. I struggled to ignore him. Rae waved me to the desk beside hers. I bolted for it. Derek never even looked my way, just took him regular seat beside Simon, their heads and voices lowering as they talked.**

**Simon laughed. I strained to hear what Derek was saying. Was he telling Simon about his "joke"? Or was I getting paranoid.**

"This book revolves around Derek a lot already," Tori whined, "you were totally obsessed with him from the beginning." Chloe blushed as I pulled her closer instinctually.

"Shut up and let me read, Tori." I growled. She waved at me to continue as Chloe ducked her flaming face into my chest.

**After English , school was done for the day. Derek disappeared with Simon, and I followed Rae to the dining room where we did our homework. I could barely finish a page on sentence diagramming. It was like deciphering a foreign language. I was seeing ghosts. Real ghosts. Maybe it would be different for someone that already believed in ghosts. I didn't .** **My religious training was limited to sporadic church and bible school visits with friends, and one brief stint at a private Christian school when my dad hadn't been able to get me into a public school. But I believed in God and in an afterlife the same way I believed in solar systems I'd never seen – that matter of fact acceptance that they existed even if I'd never thought much about the specifics. If ghosts existed , did that mean that there is no heaven? Were we all doomed to walk the Earth forever as shades, hoping to find someone that could see or hear us and…? What? What did the ghosts want from me? I thought of the voice in the basement. I knew what that one wanted- a door opened. So this spirit has been wandering for years, finally finds someone that can hear him and his earth shattering request is "Hey, could you open that door for me?" What about Liz? I must have dreamed that.**

Tori snorted and I glared at her.

**Anything else…I couldn't wrap my head around it. But one thing was certain. I needed to know more, and if the pills were stopping me from seeing and hearing ghosts clearly, then I had to stop taking them. "It's not going to happen to you." I turned from the living room window as Rae walked in. "What happened to Liz, getting transferred, that's won't happen with you." She sat on the couch. "That's what you're worried about, right? Why you haven't said ten words all day?"**

"**Sorry I'm just….."**

"**Freaked out." I nodded. That was true, even if it wasn't about what she thought. I sat in one of the rocking chairs. "Like I said last night, Chloe, there's a trick to getting out of here." She lowered her voice. "Whatever you think? About their labels? Just nod and smile. Say 'Yes, Dr. Gill. Whatever you say, Dr. Gill. I just want to get better, Dr. Gill.' Do that and you'll be following Peter out of that front door any day now. We both will. Then I'll send you a bill for my advice."**

"She had sound logic, in any other group home that would have worked perfectly." Lauren murmured, shaking her head.

"Yes but this wasn't any other group home!" Chloe practically snarled, startling me as I tried to soothe her. I felt betrayed by the people I cared about also but Chloe loved her Aunt. I didn't want her to say anything she would regret later.

"It's okay, Chlo." I said to her softly, "I love you, we're out now, it's okay." She relaxed into my arms shooting me a grateful and loving smile that made me melt. My dad gestured for me to continue.

**I struggled to smile. From what I'd seen so far, Rae was a model patient. So why was she still here? "How long is the average stay?" I asked.**

**She reclined on the sofa. "A couple of months, I think."**

"**M-months?"**

"**Peter was here about that long. Tori a bit more. Derek and Simon, about three months."**

"**Three months?"**

"**I think so. But I could be wrong. Before you, Liz and I were the newbies. Three weeks for each of us, me a few days more than her."**

"**I-I was told I'd only be in for two weeks."**

**She shrugged. "I guess it's different for you then, lucky girl."**

"**Or did they mean two weeks was the **_**minimum**_**?"**

**She stretched her foot to nudge my knee. "Don't look so glum. The company's good, isn't it?"**

**I managed a smile. "Some of it."**

"**No kidding, huh? With Peter and Liz gone, we're stuck with Frankenstein and the divas. Speaking of which, Queen Victoria is up and about….relatively speaking."**

"**Hmm?"**

**She lowered her voice another notch. "She's stuffed full of meds and totally out of it." I must've looked alarmed because she hurried on. "Oh, that's not normal. They don't do that to anyone but Tori, and she wants it. She's the pill princess. If she doesn't get hers on time, she **_**asks**_** for them. Once, on the weekend, they ran out and had to page Dr. Gill for a refill and whoa boy-" She shook her head. "Tori ran to our room, locked the door, and wouldn't come out until someone brought her the medication. Then she tattled to her mom and there was this huge uproar. Her mom's connected to the people that run Lyle House. Anyway, she's totally doped up today so she shouldn't give us any trouble."**

The adults stared at Tori with shocked looks on their faces. I smirked a little as Tori asked "What? Do you have something to say?" because she turned to me next saying, "Don't start with me wolf boy."

**When Mrs. Talbot rounded us up for dinner, I realized I hadn't told Rae about taking her advice and looking up the dead janitor. Tori joined us for dinner-in body at least. She spent the meal practicing for a role in the next zombie movie, expressionless, methodically moving fork to mouth, sometimes even with food on it. I was torn between feeling sorry for her and just being creeped out. I wasn't the only one left uncertain. Rae tensed with every mouthful as if waiting for the "old Tori" to leap out and jab at her about her eating. Simon gamely tried to carry on a conversation with me and tentatively slanted questions Tori's way, as if afraid she was just playing possum, looking for sympathy. After that endless meal, we all fled, gratefully, to our chores-Rae and I on dinner cleanup, the guys on garbage and recycling detail. Later Rae had a project to work on, and Ms. Wang had warned the nurses that she wanted Rae to do it without help. So after telling Miss Van Dop that I'd be right back, I headed up to my room for my ipod. When I opened the door, I found a folded note on the floor.**

_**Chloe,**_

_**We need to talk. Meet me in the laundry room at 7:15.**_

_**Simon**_

Chloe raised her eyebrows at me, remembering who that not was actually from. I ignored her and kept reading.

**I folded the note into quarters. Had Derek put Simon up to this when I didn't freak out over him calling me a necromancer? Did he hope I might give a more gratifying response to his brother? Or did Simon want to resume our discussion from the kitchen, when they'd asked about Liz? Maybe I wasn't the only one worried about her.**

"Uh Chloe?" Tori said testily, "I was worried about her!" I chuckled and shook my head.

"Yeah but you were doped up on pills at that time, and a bitch." Simon retorted. "Oh and Chloe, what note? I never sent one." Chloe just smiled and motioned for me to keep reading.

**I went downstairs just past seven, and used the extra time to ghost hunt, prowling the laundry room, listening and looking. The one time I wanted to see or hear a ghost, I didn't. Could I contact it? Or was it a one way street, and did I have to wait until one chose to speak to**_** me**_**? I wanted to test that by calling out, but Derek had already caught me talking to myself. I wasn't taking that risk with Simon.**

I wanted to comment on that but I didn't, I did feel slightly jealous that she cared more about what my brother thought of her than what I thought. I tried to remind myself that it was in the past but my wolf didn't really wanna listen to that. It wanted to rip apart the thing that our mate had once paid any attention to. As if sensing my thoughts Chloe glanced up at me, smiling sweetly and placing her hand on my cheek. I smiled back at her and she snuggled closer to me before I continued reading.

**So I just wandered, my mind automatically sliding behind a camera lens. "…..here…" a voice whispered, so soft and dry it sounded like wind through long grass. "…..talk to…" A shadow loomed over my shoulder. I braced myself to see a vision of horror as I looked up into…Derek's face.**

"**You always this jumpy?" he said.**

"**Wh-where did you come from?"**

"**Upstairs."**

"**I'm waiting for some-" I stopped and studied his expression. "It's you, isn't it? You had Simon send-"**

"**Simon didn't send anything. I knew you wouldn't come for me. But Simon?" He glanced at his watch. "For Simon, your early."**

"Woah there, wolfy." Tori said cackling, "Little jealous there?" I blushed slightly, remembering that I _was_ jealous at the time. I had always been drawn to Chloe, I just never told anyone.

"Stop it, Tori." Chloe reprimanded, "We'll never finish this chapter if you don't stop commenting."

"**So did you look it up?" So that's what this was about. You mean that word? **_**Nec-**_**" I pursed my lips, testing it, "**_**Necromancer**_**? Is that how you say it?"**

**He waved the pronunciation off. Unimportant. He leaned against the wall, trying for casual, uninterested maybe. His flexing fingers betrayed his eagerness to hear my answer. To see my reaction. "Did you look it up?" he asked again.**

"**I did. And, well, I don't quite know what to say."**

**He brushed his hands against his jeans, as if drying them. "Okay. So, you searched for it and….."**

"**It wasn't what I expected."**

**He rubbed his hands against his jeans again, the closed his hands. Crossed his arms. Uncrossed them. I looked around, drawing it out, making him rock forward, almost bouncing with impatience.**

"**So…." he said.**

"**Well, I have to admit.." I took a deep breath. "I'm not really into computer games."**

**His eyes closed to slits, face screwed up. "Computer games?"**

"**Video games? RPGs? I've played some, but not the kind you're talking about." He looked at me, wary, as if suspecting I really did belong in a home for crazy kids. "But if you're into them?" I flashed a bright smile. "I'm certainly willing to give them a shot." **

"**Them?"**

"**The games. Role playing, right? But I don't think the necromancer is for me, though I do appreciate the suggestion."**

"**Suggestion…" he said slowly.**

"**That I play a necromancer? That's why you had me look it up, right?"**

**His lips parting, eyes rounding as he understood. "No, I didn't mean-"**

"**I suppose it could be cool, playing a character that can raise the dead, but it's just, you know, not really **_**me**_**. A little too dark. Too emo, you know? I'd rather play a magician."**

"**I wasn't-"**

"**So I don't have to be a necromancer? Thanks. I really do appreciate you taking the time to make me feel welcome. It's **_**so**_** sweet."**

**As I fixed him with a surgery smile, he finally realized I was having him on. His face darkened. "I wasn't inviting you to a game, Chloe."**

"**No?" I widened my eyes. "Then why would you send me to those sites about necromancers? Show me pictures of madmen raising dead armies of rotting zombies? Is that how you get your kicks, Derek? Scaring the new kids? Well, you've had your fun, and if you corner me again or lure me into the basement-"**

"**Lure you? I was trying to talk to you."**

"**No." I lifted my gaze to his. "You were trying to scare me. Do it again and I'll tell the nurses." When I scripted those lines in my head, they'd been strong and defiant- the new girl standing up to the bully.**

Tori snorted and Chloe blushed.

**But when I said them, I sounded like a spoiled brat threatening to tattle. Derek's eyes hardened into shards of green glass and his face twisted into something not quite human, filling with a rage that made me stumble back out of its path and bolt for the stairs. He grabbed for me, fingers clamping around my forearm. He yanked so hard I yelped, shoulder wrenching as I sailed off my feet. He let go and I crashed to the floor.**

I cut off, burying my face into Chloe's hair as the guilt hit me in waves. I scared her, I _hurt_ her, Chloe, my mate. I failed at protecting her, I failed to protect her from myself. I gasped as I remember her laying on the floor. I looked up as I felt Chloe's hand on my hair, everyone else in the room is averting their eyes. But Chloe stared straight into my eyes. "It's not your fault, Derek. You didn't know your own strength. And I forgave you a long time ago anyway. C'mon, I love you, it's okay." She pecked me on the lips and smiled. I gave her a tentative smile back.

"I love you so much Chloe. Forever."

"Forever." She repeated solemnly. "Do you want me to read the rest?" I nodded.

**For a moment, I just lay there, crumpled in a heap, cradling my arm and blinking hard, unable to believe what just happened. Then his shadow fell across me, and I scrambled to my feet. He reached for me. "Chloe, I-"**

**I staggered back before he can touch me. He said something. I didn't hear it. Didn't look at him. Just ran for the stairs. I didn't stop until I was in my room. Then I sat cross-legged on my bed, gulping oxygen. My shoulder burned. When I rolled up my sleeve , I saw a red mark for each of his fingers. I stared at them. No one had ever hurt me before. My parents had never struck me. Never spanked me or even threatened to. I wasn't the kind of girl that got in fistfights or catfights. Sure, I'd been pushed, jostled, and elbowed…but grabbed and thrown across the room? I yanked down my sleeve. Was I surprised? Derek had made me nervous from that first encounter in the pantry. When I realized he'd sent the note, I should have gone upstairs. If he'd tried to stop me, I should have screamed. But no, I had to be cool. Be clever. Bait him. Yet I had no proof except marks on my arm that were already fading. Even if I still had them when I showed the nurses, Derek could say I'd lured him into the basement and flipped out, and he'd had to grab my arm to restrain me. After all, I was a diagnosed schizophrenic. Hallucinations and paranoia went with the territory. I had to handle this myself. I **_**should**_** handle this myself. I'd led the proverbial sheltered life. I'd always know that meant I lacked the life experience I'd need to be a screenwriter. Here was my chance to start getting it. I'd handle this. But to handle it, I needed to know exactly what I was up against. I took Rae aside. "Do you still want to be Simon and Derek's files?" I asked. She nodded. "Then I'll help you get them. Tonight."**

Chloe stopped reading. "I guess we should stop for the night." Everyone nodded.

I turned to Chloe and pulled her up from the couch. "Goodnight, baby." I pulled her closer and kissed her deeply before walking her to her door. "I love you."

"Mmm. Love you too" she said before kissing me once before and turning into her room and closing the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 14

The next morning we all woke up, scarfed our breakfast down in the rush to continue the story. Once we were settled in the living room Chloe asked who wanted to read.

"I will" Dad murmured. Chloe handed him the book and he began. "Chapter 14."

**We found Mrs. Talbot setting out the evening snack. Carrot sticks and dip. Yum. Whatever complaints I'd had about Annette, at least I could always count on brownies at home. "Hungry, girls? I'm not surprised. No one ate very much at dinner." She held out a plate. We each took a stick and dipped it.**

"**Chloe and I were thinking, Mrs. T," Rae said. "About Tori."**

**She set the plate on the table, eyes downcast as she nodded. "I know, dear. She's taking Liz's leaving very hard. They were close. I'm sure she'll feel better once they can talk, but until then she may feel a little down until we can get her…medication adjusted. We'll need you girls to be extra nice to her."**

"**Sure." Rae licked dip off her finger. "We were wondering, thought, whether it might be easier for her if she had the room to herself. I could sleep in Chloe's."**

**Mrs. Talbot handed Rae a napkin. "I don't want to isolate her too much but, yes, she'd probably be happier alone for now."**

"**Just for now?"**

**The nurse smiled. "No, you can move in with Chloe permanently, if that's what you'd both like."**

"Wow, I never remember her being such a pushover." Tori grumbled. "She was a bitch to me." Everyone shot Tori looks as they remembered what a bitch she was and she sighed. "Yes yes I know, karma and whatever." Dad took this as a sign to continue reading.

**While Tori was downstairs watching television, Rae started to move, as if afraid Miss Van Dop or Dr. Gill would veto the change. She handed me a stack of T-shirts. "It's Simon, isn't it?"**

"**Hmm?"**

"**You want to know what Simon is in for."**

"**I don't-"**

**She draped her jeans over her arms and waved me out. "You two have been chatting every meal. At first, I thought maybe he was using you to throw Tori off his trail, but she wasn't paying any attention today, and he kept talking."**

"**I'm not-"**

"**Hey, you like him. That's fine." She opened Liz's bottom drawer. It was empty-every trace of her cleaned out while we'd been in class. "I don't care for the guy, but that's just my opinion. Maybe he's just stuck up with me because I'm not in his league."**

"**League?" **

**She held up a pair of jeans and pointed to the label. "You see anyone else in this place wearing jeans from Walmart? It's a private home. You gotta pay for it, and I bet it costs more than Motel 6. I'm the designated charity case."**

"**I-"**

"**It's cool. You treat me fine. So did Peter and-" a somber look around her new room "-Liz. Derek's a jerk to everyone, so I don't take it personally. If I'm only getting the cold shoulder from Simon and Tori, I can live with it. That's why I think those two are perfect for each other, but if you like him and he likes you? None of my business. But you're smart to run a background check."**

Dad paused here to stare at Simon and Tori. They both blushed and looked down. "Why didn't you guys like her?" he asked.

"To be honest I was a snobby rich girl back then, so she's half right about the reason. It was mostly just 'cause her self-confidence was through the roof while mine was in the gutter." Tori admitted truthfully, we all stared at her, shocked at how open she was being.

"Simon?" Dad prompted.

He sighed. "I was being petty, at the time I only wanted to pay attention to the girls that were pretty enough for me to date." He hung his head, ashamed. Dad looked on disapprovingly while the rest of us averted our eyes. "Can you just keep reading please?" Simon whispered.

**She headed back to her old room, me at her heels. "My friend's mom did that with a guy she was supposed to marry. Found out he had three kids he never mentioned." She grinned over her shoulder. "I'm pretty sure Simon doesn't have kids, but you never know." As we finished clearing out her drawers, I considered letting it go at that. But I didn't want her thinking I was the kind of girl who gets to a new place and immediately starts scoping out the guys. If I wasn't ready to tell the nurses about Derek, I should tell someone. That way I'd have back up for my story if I needed it later. **

"**It's not Simon," I said as we returned to her room, "It's Derek."**

**She'd been in the middle of plucking a photo from the wall and fumbled, cursing as I rescued the fallen photograph. "Derek? You like-"**

"**God, no. I meant Derek's the one I'm checking out- and not in that way."**

**She exhaled and leaned against the wall. "Thank God. I know some girls go for the jerks, but that's just nasty." She flushed as she took the picture from me and reached for another. "I shouldn't say that. It's not his fault, the whole…" she faltered for a word.**

"**Puberty smackdown."**

Ouch. I'll pretend that didn't hurt. I mean I know that I wasn't always the most attractive but hearing it from the love of my life is downright terrible. Chloe looked up at me apologetically; I managed a smile down at her and turned my attention back to my Dad.

**A grin. "Exactly. I should feel sorry for the guy, but it's hard when his attitude is as ugly as his face." She stopped, photo in hand and glanced over her shoulder at me. "Is that it? Did he…do something?"**

"**Why? Does he have a history of that?"**

"**Depends on what that is. Being rude, yes. A jerk, yes. He ignores us except when he doesn't have a choice and, believe me, no one complains. So what did he do?" I considered my words. I didn't want her to insist I talk to the nurses, so I left out the whole throwing-me-across-the-room part and just said he'd been following me, popping up when I was alone. "Ah, he likes you." She handed me a photo to hold.**

**Well that was true, I thought to myself. I loved Chloe, even then.**

"**No, it isn't like that."**

"**Uh-huh. Well, you'd probably rather it wasn't like that, but it sure sounds like it. Maybe you're his type. At my school, there's this guy I like, on the basketball team. He's even taller than Derek, but he always goes for tiny girls like you."**

**I took another photo from her. "That's not it. I'm absolutely certain of it." She opened her mouth and I felt a flash of annoyance. Why is it that every time a girl says a guy is bothering her, it's fluffed off with oh, he just likes you, as if that makes it okay? Seeing my expression, Rae snapped her mouth closed and took another picture down. I said, "He freaks me out and I want to see what his file says. Whether there is any reason to be spooked. Whether he has, you know, a problem."**

"**That's smart. And I'm sorry. If he scares you, that's serious. I don't mean to make jokes. We'll get the facts tonight."**

Thank God that's over I thought just as my Dad asked who wanted to read next.

Simon looked up, "I will."


End file.
